November 2011
1 post
2 tags
Guess it's time to turn a new page. →
Thank you to all my followers who actually read and felt the things I wrote, to all of you who stuck around. I have now moved to a new blog, given in the link above, but I’m keeping this one here for archiving. My personal reasons are what everyone would probably file into “Overreacting Like an Ordinary Drama Queen”.
Anyways, I hope I’d see you there someday. (Preferably...
October 2011
1 post
Anonymous asked: You're so good in writing. I just adore your blog. <3 I'm 2 years younger than you, and I'd like to get tips for better writing? I wanna be like you when I grow up, because you inspire a lot of people, including me. :) thanks:)
August 2011
8 posts
5 tags
A storm is brewing Lightning flashes and I’m blind Take me, hurricane
3 tags
Confession.
The exact second I heard your pleading voice for another of my unhinged doors to open, I knew this was going to happen. It was inevitable. It was fated. What else could have been staring at me in the face with a forebodingly apathetic vice? An indifferently threatening addiction? We were always the pawns of condemnation, never have been anything more than that. I was a fool to believe otherwise.
...
4 tags
could it have been any more mindless i should have known with the nine hundred ninety ninth chance that the thousand would only be as cruel, as agonizing, as painful but no, wise one, i won’t sway to betrayal tonight i gave you every ounce of forgiveness despite knowing you’re nothing but filth trying to surpass its way into love, into something more i gave you every little chance i...
7 tags
forgiveness; twentieth of the sevens
suppose you saw me leave suppose i forgot to close the door - not a fraction of an inch oh, but that’s who i am who i’d always rather be my mother always used to reprimand the little girl i once was for i echoed footsteps there i departed somehow here never securing doors properly, never leaving completely farewell’s only credence while we remain such fools suppose i can never...
3 tags
Killing me again Without you even knowing Please, slowly this time
9 tags
I can’t keep grasping at straws for me to become part of your life anymore because I honestly don’t know how much of it I still can be. There’s wrongness at every corner threatening to jump out at me. I know nothing about you anymore, you know nothing about me, and we don’t capture a single inch to save the distance. Do you know? Everyday is another 24 hours for us to...
5 tags
Only seconds left Til your mutual destruction Careful now, darling
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I hate this. I hate that I’m starting to feel selfish of whatever it is I still don’t have completely. I hate that you’re making me defy all that I’ve ever been. I hate the fact that I have this heavy feeling in my arms, a strained unkempt yearning in my breaths, this never-ending resonant sense of selfishness at the back of my head. I don’t think I want to know if...
July 2011
10 posts
3 tags
Why can’t I stop smiling Please come over here — and untangle my lips from this state Involuntary smiles are the worst kind there is Can’t you just see — I am here and I am going crazy
[Why can’t I stop smiling]
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# twenty three
the problem with you is that you’re too fickle-minded with everything. you never make up your mind, not really. you don’t know what you want. rather, you just think you want whatever it is people tell you to want. one minute, you know you’re going left, but the next minute passes with a slight wind and you’re going right. that’s why people don’t ever choose to...
9 tags
# nineteen
oh those city lights still hold too much memories we can’t burn, ignite
oh those could’ve beens still hold us to the winter no more rain come spring
oh those songs we sang still hold words we force useless we’ll never accept
oh is it that strange that the reason i heal now is why i’m wounded
[i n t h e f i r s t p l a c e]
3 tags
# eighteen
why would you want this you extricate everything slowly out of me
lead me out of here take my hand and burn it, burn then i could go away
goodbyes too many this wouldn’t be different but what if it is
i could take a risk by choosing you over me but no, i wouldn‘t
3 tags
Confession.
How is it that guilt consumes me every time they call me a masochist or every instance they try to instill in my thick-walled brain that I’m just wasting my time, yet there’s a strange sense of fulfillment that awaits at the tip of my toes? It feels awful that I know I’m not cutting nearly enough for myself and that I’m severely punishing me for the things that happened...
12 tags
i was caught unaware that the second i took your hand would mean another beginning, rather than the closure we’ve been reaching for since it all started to fall apart
people were lying when they invented the notion of sparks and fireworks and tingling electricity when two people touch but i guess it is true in some sort of twisted way, because even after an immediate millisecond of letting...
4 tags
# twenty nine
what if everything does not mean anything stop wasting my time
it’s time to stop these mixed signals and second thoughts what are we doing
what if anything would just destroy everything just go away now
17 tags
it’s not supposed to be this way anymore. not at all. i’m not supposed to smile a minute after you do even though my thoughts are still all cluttered in my head, just because you stole my attention once again. my attention’s not even supposed to be caught anymore. my mind isn’t supposed to fly out the window the second you tell me a lame joke or the instant you grin that...
8 tags
i like watching the way your hands work and the way you don’t even seem to notice them at all. there’s something beautiful about how you flex your nerves when you’re thinking way too hard or how you cradle your chin on your hand and unconsciously lead to biting your nails when your mind is somewhere else than you really are. it catches my attention when you brush your hair off...
8 tags
you would not have to worry every second that passed is gone all that’s left —— a solitary casualty between devastated queens and pawns it’s over, darling, pretenses for atonement only fools believe something as foolish as fate the waning and waxing and disappearing crescent reminds me at nightfall all wars have ends and postdates wounds, abrasions on fingers surrendering...
June 2011
10 posts
8 tags
You see that girl with the perfect hair? The one with a slight bounce in her walk and a smile in her face every time? Yeah, her. Her voice is just angelic, isn’t it? The way she talks with her mouth in little delicate curves and the way her laughs and comments sound like tiny bells that create the most delightful tunes. She’s too beautiful. She just has that perfect body with subtle...
8 tags
there comes a time when you just have to stop trying and just… be. it’s harder than it sounds when you yearn so much to try and prove that you’re more than just a mix of electrons and protons and neutrons that accustom to the laws of gravity, that you’re more than just a single dot no one ever pays attention to in the world. being alone doesn’t help either because...
7 tags
i wish they sold special bottles on the farthest grocery aisle, you know, where they store candle holders or cheap as hell vases and tupperwares for storage. i wish that they had bottles that can store memories. time has barely begun ticking down but i keep worrying about the things i’m going to forget sooner or later, about everything that i know would only be barely recalled stories...
9 tags
my mother always told me when i was a little girl to only keep walking on the safe side of the streets. she would walk beside me and guide me to the farthest side of the pavement, just so there’s no chance of me getting run over or smothered by the smoke of vehicles or whatever reason she never told me. i must have been an ungrateful child to choose to meet you, to choose to know you....
moving on as a writer.
coalescing:
it is so difficult for a writer to move on from love. a recounted experience in the form of prose imprints a beautiful memory further into a writer’s heart, reminding him or her of how wondrous the shared love once was. every combination of pretty words about lust, love, and loss only reminds a writer of how much love he or she still has for the one that was lost. every poem is...
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cagedswallow:
everything is sad to me, even the bright yellow that girls often buy summer dresses in seems tainted and distant. the sun in me has faded and the pureness in my smile is distorted to a crooked moon - half tilted.
May 2011
7 posts
4 tags
5 tags
Because cold Friday nights are such tragic...
You know what’s one of the hardest words in our language? Stay. It’s hard to say, and it’s even harder to hear, but I still wish I had enough courage to carve that in my vocabulary.
In nights you thrash around sending bottles of wine flying over head and tearing out stray photographs, it’s just too vehemently scorching to hear it echo over and over, knowing you never...
rainonthefootpath:
A fire burns beneath our bare feet and we take our time to cross the embers. Smoke clouds eradicating our sight but still we keep breathing with our broken, bruised lungs. We still sing what must be sung. And we remember back to when we lay on the grass, watching as the buildings fell. Were we fools or were we cowards?
5 tags
what is it that cries out at your ear at night, perched on your shoulder and regurgitating strained hisses? it often has a deep throaty voice, as if it physically hurts to hurt you too, which you both know is a lie. you’re the only one suffering here. what is it that singles you out in a crowd, stepping on your toes yet sweeping you off your feet? how come you never gained familiarity, when...
7 tags
it’s always been fine… until it isn’t anymore
you turn off your nightlamp and close your eyes before you realize it would never really be gone from your lids, the sediments of all that’s passed yesterday today and all that would never pass tomorrow - wasted is what you are - wasted is what you’re looking for
you grind your teeth when they try to fix you because no...
4 tags
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Everyday, I wake up and think, there are all these people around me that might enjoy my being here, but the second I’m gone they would do nothing else but move on with their lives. I’m pretty convinced about it, but what if I disappear just to make certain? It’s a bleak and awfully selfish thought even for me, but at least I’m being honest.
And everyday that I wake up and think that, is just...
April 2011
22 posts
5 tags
5 tags
The antagonism of Reason says that Every word out in the world could only Level thoughts in every person’s mind and Learn its meaning through its made existence
My “almost”, enlighten me now of your Reason Envision all that you yearned to say for too long
(because)
Without your lies there’s none I would thrive for Heartened logic is all that will claim ends You never needed to perjure...
8 tags
you don’t have to remind me anymore - of cloudy Thursdays persuading us to meet in between and just rip apart all calendars and clocks within our distance - you don’t even need to look at me - at smeared paint and fingers igniting a drenched waist, at sullied clothes and broken ashtrays you once metaphored me into - you don’t need to hear me out - to envision my whispers as the...
8 tags
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Winds
colvinwilt:
the miles between us have made your heart diminish no need for goodbyes the start felt like the finish the end means I’ve lost you twice
10 tags
I wonder why it’s stuck in my head, even though the last time I’ve heard it was months ago.
A song. A simple song. That’s why I had to wonder why it had to be playing inside my mind over and over when it held no meaning at all for me. At least, that’s what I thought. At least, not anymore. It’s been too long since I actually listened to music. Not since everything...
6 tags
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What is the worth of a single defrayal, when all you are is all I gave you, and all I am is all you returned?
“A penny for your thoughts.”
Does it matter what nettles at my head if unambiguously you made a point that you’re as uncaring as a night lamp to a cup of coffee within its vicinity? See, you’re reducing me to words as petty as what used to be your mind. Do you...
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