a jaded kind of beautiful

I don’t have time to dress up my words right now, because I’m just so ecstatic. For once. And the thing is that it’s not even about me.

Every single day I can’t help thinking of how much I’d missed out on and how much you would too if you didn’t have enough courage. Time has barely began passing but just this once things are looking as if they would fall into place and I can’t help marveling at this tiny bit of happiness. Only you know how much I’ve wanted this long for you to get what you wanted.

I guess your happiness just means a second chance for mine, like if I salvaged my own, then it’s a consolation as well for you to finally have yours. I made a mess with a person and that led to us destroying ourselves but this new beginning makes it feel like repentance for everything we’ve lost. We hope to do right by you. We wanted this to finally happen because it wasn’t meant to happen for us, and it is for you, so I’m only begging you please, please take this rightfulness into your own story and not wait for it to pass by.

You wouldn’t even imagine right now how much I badly want for your fairytale to begin. For your sake and mine. How much I badly want for your story to take place as compensation for the one we ended. I’m sorry if this makes me more selfish than I already am, but it’s just so moving, to know that a second chance may exist, though not for me.

That finally someone can be happy and maybe, just maybe, life is not all I made it out to be.