a jaded kind of beautiful

i was caught unaware that the second i took your hand would mean another beginning, rather than the closure we’ve been reaching for since it all started to fall apart

people were lying when they invented the notion of sparks and fireworks and tingling electricity when two people touch but i guess it is true in some sort of twisted way, because even after an immediate millisecond of letting go, your skin somehow lingered on mine. i bite my lip and try to stop my head from spinning - no, not because of you this time, but because i don’t know how else to distance myself anymore

when i write, i write with no more certainty because you took every solitary splinter of that when you owned and disowned me so congratulations, but the words i spill are only inches compared to the acres of how much i just want to know where i stand for once, of how much i want to end this too badly

no, i don’t need your touch to begin me —

i need your certainty