a jaded kind of beautiful

suppose you saw me leave
suppose i forgot to close the door - not a fraction of an inch
oh, but that’s who i am
who i’d always rather be
my mother always used to reprimand the little girl i once was
for i echoed footsteps there
i departed somehow here
never securing doors properly, never leaving completely
farewell’s only credence
while we remain such fools
suppose i can never cross bridges and not dare look back
forgiveness is a disease
i always, always forgive
suppose i hurt and fell down the stairs because i forgot
oh i forgot to close doors
or maybe somehow maybe
there’s something unclear with how i never leave completely
oh, how i can’t touch locks
how i can never close doors
i can never leave anymore
but to my insatiable psyche’s content i do shatter windows —

[dare open faded locks i shatter]